Crackers Keep us happy
by BlackJackBanzai
Summary: FRESH AND UPDATED! this might be retarded, but so far no one's complained! NEW CHAPPIE UP!
1. Default Chapter

Banzai: Hey people! This is my first Fic here so take it easy on me, eh? (Hugs Badly sewn plush dolls of the RK cast) Mine.... NO SADLY, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or characters, But maybe Nobuhiro Watsuki will sell them to me? Nope thats probably not gonna happen either.....

Title: Chappie one: Something stupid

A One-shot. Just Bashing some scenes from RK. Kaoru And other character bashing.

Holy crap I suck at summarys! But doesn't everyone?? (ducks as the angry readers stone her to death.)

OOC-ness

By: BlackJack Banzai, Also known as Nicole NofoodForYou.

thinking

Kaoru: ::Running around the dojo, screaming at people for no reason:: SCREAM!!! RAGE!! ANGER!!! YELL!!!! SCREECH!!!

Kenshin: (jams some cotton in his ears, continues to wash Kaoru's clothes) Man I wish she'd shut up.

Kaoru: (stops abruptly and glares at kenshin) WHAT... Did... you... say????

Kenshin: (can't hear a thing) hmmhmmmhmm.....

Kaoru: (gets about two inches from his face, starts breathing heavily and twitching) you better answer me right now you obnoxious turd.

Kenshin: (eyes water from the smell of booze on Kaoru's breath) Ack! COUGH! W-what? (Takes the cotton out of his ears) What?

Kaoru: Jerk! (Snorts, and a little booger flies out her nose and lands on Kenshin's face)

Kenshin: I'm sorry... Thinks: EEWWWWWWWWW!!!!! Thats so nasty! AND ITS ON MY FACE!?!?!

Kaoru: Well I hope so!! (turns around and goes off on this long speech about how men are incompetent asses)

Kenshin: (quickly wipes his face off and grimaces) UNCLEAN!!! ::dunks his head in the soapy laundry water:: Get it off!! GET IT OFF!!

((as kenshin scrubs furiously at his face, a few minutes pass by and Kaoru turns around))

Kaoru: and thats why- OHMIGOD!! ::Grabs Kenshin and tosses him a few feet in the air::

Kenshin: ORORORORORO!! (Splats on the ground)

Kaoru: Kenshin! I cant believe you tries to commit suicide, over ME!!

Kenshin: But I wasn't-

Kaoru: YOU **DO** CARE!!!(starts getting overly dramatic, sniffling and sobbing like a two year old)

Kenshin: .......but-

Kaoru A-HOOHOOHOOO! (starts rolling on the ground wailing)

Kenshin: .........Uh-

Kaoru: ITS SO AMAZING, GOD! I MIGHT HAVE TO GO SLIT MY WRISTS WITH PLASTIC SPOONS!! (hyperventilates, still sobbing)

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono.....

Kaoru: GOD! Whend'ya think we'll get married?

Kenshin: ::turns beet red:: KAORU! SNAP OUT OF IT!! ::slaps Kaoru::

Kaoru: (mouth hangs open, eyes bulge) Uhhhhhhhhh........

Kenshin: ...........::slaps himself:: stupid, STUPID Kenshin! I broke it!!

Kaoru: What? (Looks around like nothing happened) no more sake for me, thanks!

Kenshin: ::jaw drops several inches::

Kaoru: ::face gets all serious:: yeah, that is a stupid thing to say, you and me, Married. Ha!

Kenshin: yeah, like that'd EVER happen.

(They both kind of laugh)

::long pause...................................................................::

Kaoru: ::looks around:: Hey! WAITER!! Five bloody marys and one flying fuck for my friend here!!

Kenshin: ...We're- We're not in a bar......

Kaoru: Says who?

Kenshin: (gesture to the world with his hand) Does it LOOK like a bar?

Kaoru: The world is my bar. ::Sparkles and bottles of booze float down around her head::

Kenshin: Addict.

Kaoru: (starts beating him) HEY I AIN'T NO AL- ALCOO-.... AELCEUHEL-.....Al-

Kenshin: Alcoholic?

Kaoru: Yea. One of that.

Kenshin: Them. One of them.

Kaoru: Yea.

Kenshin: (sighs deeply)

Kaoru: God, I'd like a nice cold Corona right now...

Kenshin: (groans and puts his head in his hands)

Kaoru: What? Don't you like to drink?

Kenshin: (looks disturbed) ... is that all you ever think about? Booze?

Kaoru: and Kitties! Don't forget kitties!

::Kenshin Falls over anime style::

(suddenly Yahiko falls from the sky and lands a few yards away with a huge SPLAT)

K &K: ................. . ....... ... .......

Yahiko: ::wheeze, Gag:: oohhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

Kaoru: lemme guess, You commented on Sano's weight again didn't you?

Yahiko: S-...Shut up!!

Kenshin: He's really sensitive about that you know.

::Sanoske slams open the shoji screen, it flies off and sails into the air, landing in a forgotten bowl of onion dip not 10 yards away::

Sanoske: ::eyes are all huge and teary, snot dripping out nose, lower lip trembling:: I......I AM **NOT** FAT!!!!

Yahiko: (puts his hands in front of face) DON'T HURT ME!!

SAnoske: YOU CALLED ME PORKY!!!

Yahiko: I'M SORRY!!!

Kaoru: ::blink::

Kenshin: ::blink::

Sanoske: ::starts frothing at the mouth:: I KILL YOU NOW!!! ::Lunges at Yahiko's Jugular with

his teeth::

Yahiko: (Runs away) OH MY GOD YOUR CRAZY! STAY AWAY!!

Sanoske: ::chases after Yahiko, Screaming something ungodly::

Kaoru: that was.....

Kenshin: different.....

::loud high pitched screams echo thought the dojo::

Kenshin: ahh, Yahiko must be going through puberty....

Kaoru: ...............::smacks him:: DOPE!

Kenshin: Whhhaaat? ::rubs his damaged skull::

Kaoru: I think I can get Sano off yahiko..... (pulls out a package of industrial size crackers) hehe...

Sooo, that s the first Chappie!! ("chapter" for you grammatically correct children) Did you like it?? Did it suck?? PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!! SUGGESTIONS AND CORRECTIONS WILL BE MOST APPRECIATED! But flames... Ah, flames will be growled at and sent back with a nasty little note from me.

Pleeeeeeeease Review!

REVIEW BUTTON!! PRESS IT AND MAGICAL SALAMANDERS WILL COME OUT AND DANCE!!! PRESSIT PRESSIT PRESSIT!!!


	2. Pills, Pigeons, And porcupines

Oki-doki then! Got 2 reviews!

Author: BlackJackBanzai

Note: this is a lot more random than the first one, shakes head I tried to keep it on track, but

seems I just kept adding more and more junk onto the plot.......

Second Chappie: "Pills are for Pussies" Or "Kenshin Uses Drugs"

Summary: There is no summary, bitches, You'll Have to READ it!

I Don't own Kenshin!! BUT IT WOULD BE **FANTASTIC** IF I DID!!! his outfit for the whole show would be a tiny elastic thong and... Awright never mind. (Brushes the bad thoughts away)

I don't own Triscuits either. Peh. Nasty wheat crackers.....

Kaoru: (picking her nails) ooh lala...Gotta push these cuticles back...

Kenshin: Hello? Your plan? You said you had a plan?

Kaoru: huh?

Kenshin: -- (chugs down a bottle of anti-depressants) Please God, help me tolerate these idiots, please oh, please, oh please......

Kaoru: Oh! Oh yeah... my diabolical scheme to take over "Toys R us" and destroy Geoffrey the giraffe ONCE AND FOR ALL AND BURN HIS DECAPITATED BODY IN ETERNAL HELL FIRE!!!! WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! ::sprays saliva::

Kenshin: cowering in the corner w-w-wrong plan.

Yahiko: ::scrambling up a tree:: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Sanoske: ::snarls, starts head-butting the tree::

Kaoru: oh....with the crackers! ok yeah I remember now!! ::whips out cracker box::

Yahiko: KAORU HELP ME!!!

::kaoru runs over, hits sano with the box and falls over ::

Sanoske: ::looks up:: hm?

Yahiko: O.O what the fuck?

Kenshin: WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!

Yahiko: .......

Kenshin: I mean- uh... oh shit- I MEAN-

Sanoske: ::takes the cracker box and starts eating:: mmm..... Triscuits.

::a flock of pigeons drop down around him and stare::

Pigeons: coo, coo, coo...

Sanoske: ......oh no, you aint getting none of this you fat moochers

Pigeons: coo, coo... :: start closing in on him::

Sanoske: O.O NO!! STOPIT!! MIND CONTROL HAS NO POWER OVER ME, YOU DEMONIC BIRDS!!

Pigeons: ::mutate into huge poofy birds with fangs:: BKKKKAWWW!

Kenshin: ::Glances at the birds, Unscrews the lid to a huge bottle of Prozac and starts eating pills by the handful:: PONIES!!! My God! I feel so enlightened!!! Like Koala bears and unicorns have crapped happiness into my brain!! I'VE NEVER FELT SO HAPPY IN MY LIFE- cept that one time at Hooters with the half-naked waitresses an- WELL I FEEL PRETTY DAMN GOOD!!!

::sanoske runs down the road with evil pigeons following him::

Yahiko: ::Slides down the tree:: Splinter! Oooooh! Splinter up the Ass!!! ::lands on a prcupine:::

OOOOH! Needles!! OOOOH!! God I hate needles!! OOOOOOOOH!!!!

KAoru: ::Wakes up:: did it work? (Sees cracker crumbs and bird shit all over) Sweet! Yogurt!!

Yahiko &Kenshin: NO!

Kaoru: ::stops:: Pigs, you want it for yourself don't you?

::megumi pops out of a bush::

Megumi: BWWWAAAAAAHH!!!

Kenshin: EEEEEEK!! shoots into the air

Megumi: Woah.... (watches as he turns into a speck in the sky)

Kaoru: glares Fox.....

Megumi: Racoon....

::Cowboy showdown music plays::

yahiko: backs away

Megumi: On three...

Kaoru: One...

Megumi: two...

Kaoru: THREE!

Both: (whip out guns and shoot each other in the heart)

Yahiko: ......Mmkay.... pries porcupine needles out of his ass

Kaoru & Megumi: (look at the Little sticky Dart on their chests) Damn.

::Kenshin falls from the sky wailing and sobbing::

Kenshin: IT'S GONNA HURT!!! WAAAH! OH I DON'T WANT IT TO HURT!!!!!

Yahiko: He needs to get laid.

Kaoru: everyone says that, can't you come up with something a little more original??

Yahiko: oki-doki, He needs to get Fucked up the ass with a shar-

Kaoru: OK! NO MORE LATE NIGHT TV FOR YAHIKO.

Yahiko: ::bawls::

::kenshin falls into a Chicken pen, causing a huge explosion::

KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

::little fried chicken parts fall from the sky::

Kenshin: curls in the fetal position I...have...KILLED......

Kaoru: slaps him Don't you DARE start that "I can't kill, because it's bad, and I killed people before, but now it's different" thing, or I'll knock you into next year.

Kenshin: yes ma'am! Gets up and gallops into the dojo. Megumi and Yahiko follow

Kaoru: ..........WAIT!!! I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!!!!

Yahiko: I'm hungry.

Kenshin: ::instincts kick in, Rushes to the kitchen:: FOOD MUST BE PREPARED!!!

Yahiko: I love that!

Megumi: are you taking advantage of Ken-san's girly instincts?

Yahiko: Yes.

Megumi: Good Job!!

##$!$##!#()(!#&)(#&)!(#&)#

Kenshin: ::walks into kitchen, Finds two cats screwing on the table:: AHH! Fluffy! smacks the other cat with a ladle GO AWAY! OH FLUFFY YOU STREET WHORE!!!

Kaoru: falls into the dojo, twitching badly P- People......

Yahiko: Howdy, Kenshin's screaming about street whores.

Kaoru: WHAAAAAT?!?!? (stomps off) MEGUMI!

Megumi: what?

Kaoru: oh guess it wasn't you.

Megumi: ::hurls a grenade at Kaoru::

Kaoru: AIIIGH! Flings herself into a wall

Megumi: OHOHOHOHOHOHO! (Passing birds drop dead out of the sky)

Megumi: grabs the grenade and taps it IT'S A FAKE!

Kaoru: ::Is about to tear Megumi's eyebrows off when Kenshin squeals::

Kenshin: KAORU!!! YOUR CAT SCREWED MY CAT!!!!

Kaoru: I don't have a cat..... Neither do you......

Kenshin: ::Ponders this for a couple hours:: ...OHHHH! Guess your right. Well, there were two random cats screwing on the table then, but I made SANDWICHES!!!

All: ::unenthusiastically:: yee.

Kenshin: Turkey and Wheat bread! My favorite!! ::sits there and doesn't eat it:: Yum! Delicious!

Kaoru: ::Looks at a slice of turkey, which is kind of yellowish and Hairy:: What kind of turkey is this?

Kenshin: it's not turkey, it's made from large, sewer dwelling European rodents.

Megumi: HOOMP. Runs outside to Puke::

Yahiko: Rodents huh? Tastes like radioactivity.... ::all his hair Falls out::

Kaoru: happily munching a Burger king whopper Yeah, great sandwiches there, Kenny-boy.

Kenshin: woo-hoo. ::walks out to buy more pills::

::A Large dust cloud comes rumbling up the street, trampling school children, Old ladies and small pets::

Megumi: Oh- OH MY GOD!!!!

(GASP) (GASP) (GASP) what could it be? (GASP) (GASP) (GASP) (vomit)

yep, thats the second chapter. My god this has no plot, but it's better that way, or at least until I get the hang of this..... TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I NEED REVIEWS HERE!!

Oh and Please don't expect any Sex scenes, I know Other peoples who can write stuff like that very well. But I can't, seriously. And if I did it would be like:

"Rrg."

"Arg."

"Snortph! SNOPTH! SNORPHG!"

"Oooo."

"Ahh."

"Eee."

::squeaky squeaky squeaky....::

"BLEPTH!"

"OwOwOwOw!"

"Oooooooooh!"

"HEY THAT WAS FUN!!"

"I KNOW, HEY LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"

::squeaky squeaky squeaky....::

....why, that was interesting! But Yeah, so, Just don't expect any sex..........

NOW R&R PEOPLE!!!! R AND R!


	3. Thongeroos!

OMG thank you thank you thank you for reviewing! I love you people!! Sorry the dancing salamanders went on strike and refused to work for me, Damn them.

)!#!)$(($##$&!#!&!#$&!$&!$&!$&!$&!$&!$

Chappie.....Three? Yeah, three.

Title: Thongs

Author:BlackJackbanzai

Summary: Chickens, a Realization and RAPE!

Note: I am a incompetent Asshole.

On another note, tell me If theres something I should or shouldn't be doing, Cuz I'm just doing this off the top of my head....TELL ME!

Sanoske: ::comes out of the dust cloud riding a giant mutant bird::

MEgumi: :::falls over laughing::

SAnoske: (bird Shit & feathers sticking out of his hair)

Megumi: Oh my God!! you look like a tard!!! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!!::innocent forest creatures fall over dead::

Sanoske: ........

Mutant Bird: (raises its giant foot over megumi's head)

Sanoske: No! StanleyBob!! We Can't kill Megumi! she's warm and Fun to hug!

StanleyBob: ........peep!

Kenshin: (meeps his head out the dojo door) Sano! ::runs up to him like a gay schoolchild:: Sano!

Sanoske: (looks down at him from StanleyBob) Uhm..

Kenshin: ::jumping up and down:: OhmiGodOhmiGodOhmiGod!!!

Megumi: (Looks on in confusion) What? Wait are you gay??

Kenshin: (stops abruptly) I've had sixteen people ask me that today.....

Megumi: Well?!?!

Kenshin: ....no.

Megumi: Whew.

Sanoske: ....well Im just gonna go inside, Away from you freaks...

Megumi : what was that?

Sanoske: Ahem! I said "Im gonna go inside, away from you freaks."

Megumi: Oh. (Proceeds to beat the shit out of Sanoske)

Kenshin: Oh! Oh! Beat me next! Beat me next!!

Megumi: You wanna be thrashed?

Kenshin: Yes, Please!

Megumi: ok. (Slugs him)

Kenshin: Whee! Oh do it again! Do it AGAIN! Only harder!!

Megumi: ::looks disturbed, slinks back into the shadows::

Kenshin: HEEHEE! ::Grins creepily::

Sanoske: (whacks him on the back of the head with a broom)

Kenshin: (blinks a couple of times) Oh....wow thanks, my other side got out.....

Sanoske: The Hitokiri Battousai? That was him?..... ....Well I have no further comments on this situation.....

Kenshin: no! That Was **Chibi Kenshin**, A sinister evil force capable of destroying the world!

Sanoske: ......... ::stares into nothingness:: Yams.

Kenshin: no one loves me. ::whimpers and Curls into a ball::

Sanoske: (Kicks kenshin, walks inside)

Megumi: Kenshin. Hey Kenshin!

Kenshin: meep, Go away I'm trying to be pathetic so maybe a hot girl will take me home....

Megumi: KENSHIN

Kenshin: My God, woman, WHAT?

Megumi: ::standing there wearing a Tight black leather thong and Top with huge metal spikes sticking out everywhere, Cracking a whip and holding handcuffs:: Can you do it rough?

Kenshin: O.O Holy crap!! No I can't! I Bruise easily!!

Megumi:....OK! (grabs Him and drags him into a garden shed)

Kenshin: NoooooooooOooooOoOOo!

Kaoru: ::looks up from the newspaper:: I HEAR A MAN.

Yahiko: sigh Wow I hate you. (Walks outside)

Sanoske: (Sitting on the step, A couple empty sake bottles lie on the ground next to him) Katsu.....

Katsu says the "big crunch" is coming, he said the universe will fall back on itself someday,

Stars....Planets.... Kaoru's cleavage...Everything will SQUASH together, and then **EXPLODE **

AGAIN IN FIERY CATACLYSMIC** DESTRUCTION**!!

Yahiko: ::imagines boobs squashing and exploding, winces:: ...... ............. .. ... .. ......Wait..............Kaoru's a girl?

Sanoske: ....yes

Yahiko: ::blinks several times and looks around, mouth agape:: My God... I never really looked, but she does have cleavage doesn't she?? I thought it was just a hormone problem......

Sanoske: Nope. Kaoru's a girl, we think.

Yahiko: and that means Kenshins not gay! MY GOD!!!! IT'S LIKE A HUGE CIRCLE, LEADING UP TO THE ANSWER TO WORLD PEACE!!!

Sanoske: Yea... I think I'm gonna go start a stamp collection......

Yahiko: I GOTTA SPREAD MY DISEASE ALL AROUND!!

Sanoske: (kicks yahiko and walks away)

Yahiko: I feel sad now....

::Kenshin Stumbles out of a Garden shed::

Kenshin: Leave me alone!! I don't want to have sex with you! Go away!

Megumi: (chases after him) NO!

Kenshin: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Yahiko: Sex? Whats sex? Sounds like cereal!! Corn Sex!

Megumi: ::Stops to mix some powders:: ......hey I invented Viagra!

Kenshin: AHHHHH! ::Jumps in a taxi ( OF COURSE they had Taxis in Feudal Japan, what are you stupid or something?) and screams at the driver to Step on it::

Yahiko: What was that all about? Why are you wearing a thong? What's Viagra?

Megumi: o.o THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS WILL COME WHEN YOU ARE OLDER. A LOT OLDER.

Yahiko: right...

(halfway across the country, KEnshin Finally Leaps out the window into a cow field)

Kenshin: YES! Now I can be cow man and live out my days eating grass and shitting EVERYWHERE!!

MEgumi: thats sexy.

Kenshin: NO!! HOW THE HELL-

Megumi: I ran.

Kenshin: OO ::hides behind a cow:: You can't see me, You can't see me, I'm Not here, Im in bed with Mr. Wimbledon, I can't hear you, you're not there...

Megumi: Mr. Wimbledon?

Kenshin: my cat. I- OH SHIT!! HELP I'M BEING RAPED!!! HELP ME I'M GETTING RAPED IN A COW FIELD!

Cows: (eat Grass, shit)

Kenshin: thanks a ton, guys.

MEgumi: it's high school all over again!

Kenshin : EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

And thats it. Wow that was weird as hell

So you've read this sad excuse for fanfiction, Now pleeeease review it!


	4. The little redhead that couldn't, but tr...

SO you came back! Lucky you.....

Chappie: 4.5 FEWER CALORIES! NEW BOLD TASTE!

Title: The little redhead that COULD

Summary: Saran-wrap, and crayons

Goodness! Or badness.. Whatever.. I haven't updated in a while, I'm sorry! (The predominant reason being that I just watched both RK OAV's And had to get over the fact that Kenshin died 99 (explodes into tears) WHY? WHYWHYWHY?) There Ashley, now you know...

Kenshin's hair looks really soft, I want to make a nest in it and live there. Also, saito's ( I can't spell, that, so sorry) eyes look very pointy, I want to take one of them and throw it at Kaoru, and watch her bleed. Teehee!

Anyway, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin Or any other brand names in this fanfic.

Goodness! Or badness.. Whatever.. I haven't updated in a while, I'm sorry!

Sanoske: (Innocently reading porn)

Kaoru: (Jumps him from behind) ARGH!

Sanoske: Eh! (Starts swatting her with porn)

Kaoru: Ow! Stop hitting me with..... hey what are you reading?

Sanoske: UH.. "Cosmopolitan".

Kaoru: um, right. ::Snatches magazine:: Oooh! Porn! .....hey.....this is just a bunch of shaved monkeys...... what the fuck...

Sanoske: GIMMIE IT BACK! (Claws at at kaoru)

Kaoru: ::unfazed:: Does this turn you on or something? Shaved apes? Is this what you masturbate to all day? Huh, is it?

Sanoske: AIIIGH! (Rips his bed apart, more monkey porn magazines fall out)

Kaoru: I guess so.

Sanoske: Leave. Now. ( kicks her out a nearby window)

Kaoru: HOLY SHIT!

Yahiko: (calmly practicing his kashhin style) And I will chop you! Here! Here! Hereherehere! :: looks up to see kaoru falling from the sky:: OH MY GOD IT'S A HUGE FLYING RACOON!!!

Kaoru: DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMNNNNNN YOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ::does a huge splat into a pile of garden supplies

Yahiko: Heeheehehaa! Hooheehooheeha! (Dances around her like the drug-abusing leprechaun he is)

Kaoru::: Snarls and foams, a rake embedded in her forehead:: Yahiko... I SHALL KILL AND EAT YOU!

Yahiko: (freezes and pees himself)

Kaoru: ::roars and leaps into the air:: YOUR FLESH IS MINE!

(Kenshin strolls up the road, back from counseling)

Kenshin: I'll Sing this song la la la.. what the hell- :: watches Kaoru rip yahiko into beef jerky strips::

Yahiko: ::screaming his balls off::

Kenshin: 99 (turns and quicky runs away)

Kaoru: .......Kenshin?

Kenshin: AIGH! (Runs faster)

Kaoru: Kenshin! Hey come back!

Kenshin: NEVER! HAHAHA-::trips, falls into a sausage grinder::

Kaoru: ooh

Yahiko: (Laughs, then goes back to moaning and bleeding)

Kenshin: (screaming like a little girl) EEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEGH! EEEEEEGH!

Sanoske: ::screaming out his window:: KAORU STOP ABUSING KENSHIN!

Kaoru: but I'm not...

Sanoske: gasps You're not? OH MY GOD THATS A FIRST.

Kaoru: yea I guess it is...

::Kenshin limps over, bleeding profusely (isn't he always?) And covered in little holes::

Sanoske: ::doesn't care:: Hey buddy! ::Slaps him on the back:: How you doin?

Kenshin: (PASSES OUT FROM PAIN)

Sanoske: hey, don't fall asleep...

Kaoru: ::backhands Sano:: BASTARD

Sanoske: ::kicks Kaoru in her non-existent balls:: HO-BITCH

Kaoru: owch.

Yahiko: Yes! Kick her again!! Kick her again!!! Kick her in the teeth!

Kaoru: (turns on yahiko and snarls)

::Jineh waddles down the street, pushing a flower cart::

Jineh: Buy flowers! They smell like tits- I- I mean...... Buy them and I promise I won't slaughter you or your family!!!

::Kaoru, Sanoske and yahiko stare blankly, a dog barks in the background, and is instantly destroyed by a rampaging horde of Japanese school children::

Kaoru: Tit-smell flowers? Why do I need that? I already HAVE tits.

Sanoske: I don't.

Yahiko: I do!

Kaoru: Yea, because you're FAT.

Yahiko: At least I'm not an ugly-ass BEAST like you.

(Presumably, a fight breaks out)

Kenshin: (comes slowly back to consciousness) Owchie....

Sanoske: Buddy! You woke up! (Slaps on the back again) Wazzup?

Kenshin: ::squeaks:: OH my God! :: falls over twitching::

Yahiko: (in a headlock) do you have a brain tumor or something?

Kaoru: wait.... Do I hear Megumi?

(The Megumi- Mobile suddenly pulls up and A few men in Megumi-like drag jump out with a stretcher)

Kenshin: shit! Double shit!

Men: hup hup hup.

Megumi: (sitting on the roof with a megaphone) EMERGENCY! KEN-SAN GOT THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF HIM AGAIN! LETS MOVE PEOPLE!! **MOVE**!

Sanoske: Kenshin has his own E.R? Why don't I get one? I'm an important character in this dinky anime!

Megumi: Yes, but your name isn't in the main title, now is it?

Sanoske: (grabs the title sequence and draws his name out in crayola crayon) NOW IT IS.

Title reads: SENOOOSKEE, SAGAREE... I ARES THE BOM! ALL THE WEMENS WERNT MEE! MAEGOOMEE IS A HOR!

Sanoske: I'm SO clever!

Megumi: Um, yeaaaaahhh.... ::Grabs kenshin, Saran-wraps him (for later use) and speeds away::

Kenshin: ::squealing:: NOOOOOOoOOoOoOoOOOO!

Karou: Saran wrap? Feh! I would have used Tupper-ware.

Yahiko: yea, he'd stay fresh longer....

Sanoske: (scribbling little portraits of himself all over the dojo) CRAYOLA IS MY LOVER!

Kaoru: Woah, you draw like a drunken 5 year old with no arms.

Sanoske: ::hugs his 56 set of crayons:: My babies....

Yahiko: ...creepy...

Kaoru: Not as creepy as this weird little growth I found on my thigh... (lifts Gi a little)

Yahiko: O.O ..OH MY GOD I'M TOO YOUNG! ::scrambles away::

Kaoru: isn't it weird? I think it's a third arm....

Sanoske: (grimaces) Now I understand why you have no personal life.

Kaoru: wanna touch it?

Sanoske: NO! I would rather Chop off my own balls.

Yahiko: (Peeks around a wall) Is it gone?

(Loud scream)

Sanoske: a-ha! Trouble! To the bat-cave Robin! (Starts running, trips and falls on his crayons, breaking all of them)

Sanoske: ::looks at his crayons in horror::MY BABIES!!

Yahiko: this place is just too weird, I think I'll go to starbucks and be their official hobo..

Kaoru: Too bad! I'm Already their official hobo! (Reaches into her bra and pulls out a sticker with her face on it)

STICKER READS: KAORU KAMIYA is Starbuck's official hobo, she is hereby entitled to sleeping in our doorway, Public peeing, and spitting at little kids.

Yahiko: ..wow that is really sad.

END

And so thats it, maybe that was stupid


End file.
